Friday, September 2, 2022

Steadfastness

Our farmer's done it again, only this time he's outdone himself!

I haven't asked him for permission to share his name so I'll simply refer to him as Jordan, especially since there's some dumbass Christians in the area where he lives who are likely to start acting like bitches toward him if they ever found out what he's been doing. Being a Christian myself, I think very low of such people, regardless of their sect...

But anyway, ever since Jordan became my client he and I have been having a very productive conversation in regards to occult related themes. More exactly, we've been discussing occult methods of improving farming, from the quality and quantity of crops to methods of protecting them from hazards. Truth be told this is new territory to me since aside from being very familiar with farm work, I had yet to explore magical workings for such goals. Moreover, we've been talking about other things such as apocryphal texts, Adam Kadmon and so on.

While Jordan's previous success in causing rain for his crops was notable, he told me there's more need for rain since his region is about to enter the most demanding time for crops in terms of water shortage. Turns out he lives in the Ohio valley and, although I went through that region by car during an awful downpour some time in late November, September is the driest month in that part of the US. This would obviously raise the need for irrigation, which in turn increases farmers' expenses.

But Jordan didn't back down in the face of such odds and performed the workings yet again. Then it started to rain although the bestest thing is yet to come! Yesterday he sent me this:
To my knowledge, something of this magnitude hasn't been produced magically ever since Fabo killed off the brushfires (or the recent events more to the S-W of which I won't be discussing since, although I want the whole world to know how awesome the person who caused them is, I wouldn't want people to curse her for the overkill or I'll curse them back, with a vengeance!). 

If the forecast is correct then I guess there will be a lot of ecstatic crops growing in the fields of the Ohio valley and many people would have to thank Jordan for his efforts, especially his farmer peers. If it were up to me, they'd have to pay him too, haha. Unfortunately, it's not called "occult" for nothing and people would likely blame such events on coincidence or wild weather patterns caused by global warming instead of giving credit to the person responsible for such greatness. I imagine some would freak out if they were to hear of such things while others would start making fun...

Nevertheless, this is the best example of a magician-farmer! Unlike some dumbasses I know who are neither and instead are growing mud or sand while constantly posting pictures or videos of their altars or smiling mummies. 

As someone who spent a lot of time working on his grandpappy's farm back in the day and who knows how much farmers depend on their crops, I wholeheartedly congratulate Jordan for his work and dedication in both mundane and occult areas!

*Raising a glass of moonshine to Jordan*


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