I, Satanist

For quite some time now I purposely ceased to be cautious regarding my active involvement in the occult. As a result, several individuals have become aware of this. Moreover, they started spreading the word and in one case some self-important loser made use of this information, thinking he'd discredit me. Even more so, one of the people whom that loser told about occult activities is someone I somewhat respect and I would've preferred the person learning about this from me. Instead, they've been told I'm a Satanist by that loser and then started freaking out over it.

Not that I care I'm now being seen through different lenses by that particular person, but their utter ignorance and refusal to accept things beyond what their mindset allows them is yet another sign for me the world is seriously fucked. Scott often says the world would be much better if more people were actively performing magick and I wholeheartedly agree. The problem is many individuals have been brainwashed from a very young age into seeing things through others' eyes. Naturally, I'm speaking about the conditioning every person starts constructing (without their knowledge) from a young age. It's natural that in a country full of superstitions, a trend dating back some two millennia, anything that looks out of the ordinary must be evil. Too bad people here only start freaking out regarding evil things when it comes to spiritual or pseud-spiritual topics and not when it comes to matters that are pressing for day to day living. But I'm digressing.

I for one have no problem with people who are Satanists, regardless of whether they've chosen this path as a means to rebel against their family or the pseudo-Christian teachings they've been force fed for a long time. I also don't care they're calling themselves Satanists to be against some deity they consider evil or because they came to the conclusion being a Satanist is cool (and it impresses ladies and so on). Their beliefs are no problem of mine and that includes their entire belief system. This also applies to Pagans, Neo-Pagans and followers of any of the many religions out there. 

If someone were to ask me what I think of Satanism they will probably find my answer offensive, at least to those who consider themselves Satanists. I'm saying this because what I've encountered as religious Satanism is, to me, an involution in spirituality. I'm saying this because I see worshiping a spirit that way, irrespective whether it's celestial or chthonic. Now, while I'm aware I don't know much about the actual belief system behind Satanism, I wouldn't worship Lucifer just like I'm not worshiping Michael. Don't get me wrong, Lu is a great guy and can be very kind and helpful. I'm sure he's got a not so nice side as well, just like Michael can be a jerk, but my point is he is still a creation and not the Creator. 

In Words I briefly mention the concept of cosmology and I think each person would live a better life if they have at least a basic cosmological structure constructed for themselves. However, that cosmology must be easy to understand and accept, preferably after some lengthy studies of various religious, myths and beliefs. But this requires having a broader perspective and accepting ideas that differ from the ones they're familiar. Many of the ideas, concepts and beliefs they'd come across can be completely at odds with each other and some can be veritable paradoxes. But the process of reconciling different contradictory elements for the purpose of improving one's understanding of the world around beyond the physical spectrum is just one of the paths that leads to wisdom. 

I've mentioned in Asteria 2 how I came across bits of wisdom in some of the most unexpected places, lousy drinking establishments. Many of those poor souls who drink their life away in such places often have philosophical debates over the nature of the universe and those debates cover broad areas, from science to religion and anything in between. But the thing is I've also encountered these discussions in more elevated circles. In fact, I've encountered them in various environments regardless of the quality of the people who were taking part. This has made me realize human beings in general have an innate urge to comprehend their surroundings as much as possible. Some urges are stronger than others, but in the end even someone who says they're atheist must have come to that conclusion after having asked themselves (and others) some questions with respect to spiritual matters. 

In Asteria 2 I briefly mention Fărtat and Nefărtat as being the entities who created the world from the primordial Chaos in Romanian mythology. This belief is older than the rise of Christianity in these lands or the time people here started calling themselves Romanians. Fărtat is an archaic Romanian word for "brother" while Nefărtat would translate as "not-brother". Fărtat was said to be the benevolent Creator who sought harmonious creation, to make a world in which everything would live in peace with everything else and people would see each other as brothers irrespective of their kinship. On the other hand, Nefărtat sought to bring discord and malice into creation and constantly tried to ruin Fărtat's plans and constructs. We could somewhat compare them to Manwe and Melkor from Tolkien's writings even though there were many other entities that created Ea, having been invited to by Iluvatar. 

After the rise of Christianity Fărtat and Nefărtat slowly transformed into God and the Devil. Even today there's people here who believe God and the Devil are equally powerful or that the Devil is even more powerful than God. And they're actually practicing Christians, I kid you not. This comes from the archaic beliefs of this people that still survived the test of time and cultural changes. I imagine they believe the Devil is more powerful than God because the same mythology speaks of more malefic otherworldly creatures than benefic, so I guess that must mean the Devil has had more power to make more minions. But just as in Melkor's case, he couldn't actually create them and instead had to corrupt already existing ones. 

Another belief is that in the beginning there was only God and when he created stuff from the primordial goo he did something wrong and, enraged, threw his staff into the goo. As a result, the Devil emerged from the goo. Then God had to create yet again, but this time the Devil sew his evil seeds into creation. God fucking up at the time of creation strikes me as very similar to how the Tree of Life came into being, the Supernal Triad fucking up when creating the sephirot below Binah and thus the Qliphoth came into being. 

The Qliphoth is said to be evil, right? And the very many demonic entities have been attributed to its various sephirot and paths, right? I also came across stuff that said Lu was attributed to Thaumiel, the sephira completely opposite to Kether and the lowest low evah. If I were a Satanist I would worship the chaotic force in Thaumiel and not some spirit attributed to it, just as I don't worship Metatron who is said to take the place of God. Because he's a spirit to me and I don't worship spirits. From my perspective, If I were a Satanist I would worship the same thing that has been interfering with God's plans even before the beginning. But I for one see beyond Adam Kadmon and its many many faces when it comes to worshiping. So I can't possibly be a Satanist, but that doesn't mean I can't do rituals involving naked women. 

I've worked with chthonic forces aka demons, sure. I also mentioned good ol' Lu and the fact I'm speaking of him this way means I see him as being more than an acquaintance. But that don't mean I'm this or that. By the way, having briefly explained my beliefs in a few words to someone who follows the Left Hand Path he said to me I'm the most extreme LHP person he's ever encountered. Truth be told, I see myself as being beyond Left Hand and Right Hand Paths. I work with spirits of the firmament and of the ether, upon the Earth and under the Earth and so on and so forth. And I do so as I please, without ever bothering to think that working with a certain kind of spirit means I'm of a certain Path. I think and believe this way ever since I've constructed my very own cosmology that draws from more than a few already existing ones and after having reconciled a number of paradoxes and ejected more than a few misconceptions and crooked beliefs out of my system. And I feel wonderful even though I'm in no way wise, but a bit wiser than back when I started.

Without making this article too long, I want to emphasize again on the necessity of coming up with a personal cosmology, something that will allow one to cleanse themselves of the anguish resulted from their need to make sense of the universe from a spiritual perspective. I think this should be mandatory for occultists! I'm saying this because it will allow them to follow the occult path more in line with their beliefs. In turn, that will help them to overcome any inertia they encounter along the way. And they will encounter inertia, especially during the first year or so. But the fact they are working in tune with their beliefs acts as an extra pull that drags them along their path whenever they feel like stopping. 

Unfortunately, I've encountered a similar lame ass mentality many muggles have when it comes to people who are actively involved in the occult. And I'm not referring to people who rub crystals and light scented candles thinking they'd get mystical revelations, but those who have been working with spirits for some time. I've constantly heard the fact that working with spirits would make someone better because the spirits would teach the practitioner newer things that would improve them as an individual from both a micro and macrocosmic perspective. But it seems in some cases the people in question must be spiritually deaf and dumb, even blind in some cases, since I don't think all of them have been taught arrogance and hypocrisy. 

I've mentioned a few times I'm super arrogant, but that was something I've constructed myself by readjusting my sphere of sensation in ways that allowed me to pour as much arrogance I wanted, to support it, as well as to allow myself to easily comprehend the way it works and make use of it whenever I deem fit. I've also mentioned the fact I've worked on cutting out hypocrisy out of my system as much as possible. As a result, I don't shy away from speaking and acting in certain ways, regardless of how much others would be appalled by it. I guess some of those who aren't bothered by me and my behavior either ignore me or have worked on themselves to rise above the usual everyday mindset. Thus, they accept me as I am in the same way I accept them even if we disagree at times. 

Before I close this I also want to say the pentagram is not a Satanic symbol despite the fact its inverted version was adopted by Satanists. The same thing should be said about the swastika, an archaic solar symbol that became bastardized by a bunch of nutjobs. In its upright form, the pentagram represents matter ascending towards Spirit, while in its inverted form it represents Spirit descending into matter. And, for a very long time it has been used as a symbol of protection.